Homer's Little Brother: "You're so learned, Papa Homer"
Homer: "Learned, boy"

I need help to remember a Grandpa Simpson one, where he's recalling something. He ends by saying something like, "...from a song that may never have been written"

Woman: "Did something crawl down your throat and die?"

Barney: "It didn't die"

Bart: ""Dad, let's get out of here. These are just a bunch of crappy knock-offs."
Homer: "I recognize a genuine Panaphonic when I see one. And here's Magnetbox & Sorny.
or
Bart: "How would you go about making a half man, half monkey type creature?"
Mrs. Krabapple: "I'm sorry, Bart, but, that would be playing God."
Bart: "God, Shmod. I want my monkey-man!"
& then there's the most shocking thing I've ever heard Bart say,
Bart: "He's such a bitch!"

I think I'm obligated to post this one:

Stay tuned for the Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Choc-O-Bot Hour!

Choc-O-Bot: You can count on us, Mr. President. Major Nougat! Gooey! Cocoa! Put down those entertaining Mattel products! Colonel Kataffy is up to his old tricks!

Cocoa: Let's power up!

Top Ten Reasons Why Homer should be President.

#10. "I'm better than the last guy!"

More later!

Hey, Mark F! Where's the rest of Letterman's countdown! I don't really like talkshows, but I usually watch Leno's "Headlines" on Mondays & Letterman's "Top 10", but a buddy came over & we were finishing up the 4th Season of 'Scrubs', so I missed it. What the deal is?

Chief Wiggum: We've got an anonymous report about loud music and a strip-da-diddly-ipper.

Simon from American Idol as a preschool admin: Maggie's got an IQ of 167. Why, she's smart enough to teach at Florida State!

Flanders: This must be heaven! God has cleansed the earth!(he sees Homer floating by) Looks like Heaven is easier to get into than Arizona State!

Lisa(as they're swimming away from Alcatraz): Quick everyone, swim towards San Francisco!
Homer: what do you think, I'm made of money? Swim towards Oakland!!!!

"I seem to remember you asked me to get this fat".

there's so many! here's two faves:

ralph: "it's supernintendo chalmers"

and also:

homer: "it takes two ti lie Marge. one to lie, one to listen"

quote:

Lisa(as they're swimming away from Alcatraz): Quick everyone, swim towards San Francisco!
Homer: what do you think, I'm made of money? Swim towards Oakland!!!!

Reminds of a great line by the late, great sportswriter Jim Murray. In a column about the Oakland Raiders he said something to the extent of "You know what type of city Oakland is. It's the type where they charge you to get into San Francisco, but they'll let you back into Oakland for free".

As for a Simpsons line (their are so many) but when Ricky Gervais is on, a genie tells him he gets 3 wishes but whatever he wishes for his ex-wife will get double.

Gervais "I'd like a million dollars"
Genie "O.K. but your wife will get 2 mill."
Gervais"Shoot. O.K. I want a new house."
Genie"Again, your wife will get 2".
Gervias"Darn. O.K. Let me think. All right, I've got it 'I'd like to be beaten half to death'".

This isn't exact but it is the gist of what is said.

quote:

Originally posted by:
As for a Simpsons line (their are so many) but when Ricky Gervais is on, a genie tells him he gets 3 wishes but whatever he wishes for his ex-wife will get double.

Gervais "I'd like a million dollars"
Genie "O.K. but your wife will get 2 mill."
Gervais"Shoot. O.K. I want a new house."
Genie"Again, your wife will get 2".
Gervias"Darn. O.K. Let me think. All right, I've got it 'I'd like to be beaten half to death'".

This isn't exact but it is the gist of what is said.

Oh, man, that was great! The funniest part was he was so terrible about telling the joke AND he was telling it to Marge! She was all, "Oh! That's awful!"

quote:

Oh, man, that was great! The funniest part was he was so terrible about telling the joke AND he was telling it to Marge! She was all, "Oh! That's awful!"

And tries to pawn it off by saying (in his English accent) "Just a bit of English humor for you".

Ohh.. man I had to restrain myself here...

Principal Skinner:Don't worry, they'll forget, just like they forgot about me in that tiger cage for eighteen agonizing months! Every night I wake up screaming!

Lionel Hutz:Uh oh, we've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge:Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz:Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge:You did?
Lionel Hutz:Well, replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly," and the word "dog" with "son."

Lionel Hutz:Mr. Simpson, don't you worry! I watched "Matlock" in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it!

Lionel Hutz:Your Honor, my client claims that she simply forgot she was carrying this bottle of delicious bourbon...brownest of the brown liquors. What's that? You want me to drink you? But I'm in the middle of a trial!

Homer:I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead...

Kent Brockman:Simpson scandal update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers.

Homer:Hey! That's a half-truth!

TV announcer:Tonight on FOX, Homer Simpson, Portrait of an Assgrabber.
Homer: Ooh, Portrait, sounds classy!
On TV, a car drives erratically down the street. Homer (played by Dennis Franz) is behind the wheel. He is about to drive over a cat.
"Ashley:" No, Mr. Simpson! A cat is a living creature!
"Homer:" I don't care!
He hits the cat, who screeches loudly. He stops the car and eyes "Ashley" lustfully.
"Homer:" Now I'm gonna grab me some sweet!
"Ashley:" Mr. Simpson, that's sexual harassment! If you keep it up, I'll scream so loud the whole country will hear!
"Homer:" With a *man* in the White House? Not likely!

I love the way they chose Dennis Franz to play Homer, lol GOLD!

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