What a range of small town textures is captured by this film: the wood grain of church pews, paint flaking off of picket fences, the smooth and unblemished skin of a sex doll. Up to now, "Heartwarming" seems to be the one word review that has been most commonly applied to LARS AND THE REAL GIRL. "Haven't seen it, myself," said the guy who sold me the ticket at Movieworks. "But," he added, "I've heard it's heartwarming." Given the story's basic outline - Lonely Man Orders Sex Doll On-line Much to the Dismay of Family and Neighbors - the trick, I was thinking as I took a seat about three-quarters of the way back, would be to render such a tale heartwarming and I was interested to see how they did it.

As the theater darkened for the main attraction, a group of young girls took seats in the row directly behind me. Given what I knew to be the provocative nature of the film, I considered for a moment changing seats to get out of earshot of all the whispering and giggling sure to take place, but then the film began and I stayed put. Quickly into the first scene we meet the eponymous Lars, played with layers of humanity by Ryan Gosling, a man whose sense of decorum is so pronounced he spends an hour grooming himself in preparation to meet his new girlfriend, "Bianca", still boxed up in her UPS crate. Later, for the sake of propriety, he insists to his brother and his brother's wife that his friend be given the spare bedroom to "sleep" in. For a mannequin as becoming as Bianca such considerations seem perfectly warranted. There she sits throughout the film, pensive smile on her face, expectantly waiting to discover what the living creatures around her will decide to do next. She submits to being washed and dressed, hair fashionably arranged by those upon whom she puts her charm, which eventually works out to be most of the town. There are moments when you would swear her expression changes, that her cheeks pass through degrees of pallor or flush, but a second look tells you this is not the case. It is just the artful way she is composed and lit by her handlers, or "wranglers" as the credits refer to them.

Despite the occasional exclamations of revulsion, the girls in the back are the least of our problems. The major distraction proves to be an older female down toward the front who lets loose an uncomfortable burst of laughter at nearly every plot turn. Of course, none of the titterers are male. Males in the audience understand, just as the ones in the film do. Upon hearing about Lars' arrangement, a fellow at the town's garage responds with the simple question: "Has she got a sister?" Well, that's right. Beautiful and compliant and flexible at the joints, Bianca is a form rising straight out of the male libido. The insulated, small town people of the film - and perhaps the woman down toward the front of the theater belongs in this category - react to the sight of Lars pushing Bianca in her wheelchair mainly with shocked embarrassment, sometimes followed by the admission that they didn't even know such things existed in the world.

Exist they do, such things. Wikipedia informs that sex dolls, or "love dolls" as they are sometimes called, have been around quite some time. The French navy uses the term, "dame de voyage", to indicate the female doll made of sewn cloth used by sailors aboard ship. In modern Tokyo, galleries rent men life size dolls and private rooms to spend time with their dates. The internet has prompted a boom. Negotiating the purchase of a "love doll" is what anonymous on-line shopping was designed for. Demand improves product; improved product ramps up demand. Life-like materials, embedded motors, voice capabilities - one futurist predicts that before another five years are out people will be routinely having sex with robots.

If a review of LARS AND THE REAL GIRL must be condensed to one word, "heartwarming" will suffice, but it only works if you're willing to accept two implausibilities: 1) that Lars never uses the doll for it's intended purpose; the film doesn't even leave this open to speculation 2) that Lars is never persecuted by less empathetic members of his community, teenagers, for instance. The town in the movie seems populated entirely by tolerant, sensitive adults, who at worst are merely baffled by Lars' infatuation with his silicon contrivance. "The problem with young people nowadays," says one of the church elders, "is they have no sense of restraint". If you're okay with these implausibilities then you might be open to the film's heartwarming central premise, namely, that the inhabitants of this bleak, windswept Anytown, USA love each other so unequivocally they are willing to accept and support all manner of quirky behavior. I don't know about young people nowadays lacking a certain quality, but if you aren't willing to go along with all of this then the best one word review for the film might really be just that: Restrained.


M. Mewborn is the author of the recently published short novel, ISLAND DESPAIR.