Edward,

I'm wondering if you've thought this through:

Do zombies even have metabolic processes?

First of all, they're dead, right?

Second, if they've been in a funeral home and morticians did what they're paid for, where would all the fast protein go? Chess may be all they can manage, at least after the first bite.


What's wrong with Kill Bill 3? Since Bill is technically dead, think Uma and girl child as female Lone Wolf & Cub.

More has been done with heck less...

I'm sorry to have to intrude like this but...what the sh*t is wong talking about?

And what the hell is this??:

quote:

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written by wong828
mark,

Usually the night is long, and the world remains a mysterious place, full of wonder and delight.

---

Sounds like you're about to rape a little boy or something.

As for choosing death by Vampire or death by Zombie I would definately choose Vampire. It's a quick and rather painless death as opposed to getting eaten alive and even potentially turning into a zombie yourself.

Also, these days zombies are no longer slow. 28 Days Later and Dawn of the Dead remake have introduced the new and improved "Zombie on Crack". These zombies have the ability to pursue their prey at aproximately 30 miles an hour with no shoes (and maybe even no legs) and they don't even break a sweat. The new generation of zombies are sick mother f**kers.

K-Dog

Edward & K-Dog:

Think about it: You're death, and by some misfortune, you're a zombie.

Does this mean that when you feel this pang in your gut, you're gonna loose all sense of yourself?

You would eat any ole body parts of total strangers? What if you're Jewish and they're not kosher, you don't have a problem?

Besides, maybe you're a zombie and you're fed up with this gig, bad union rules, you say, "F*ck that, go use CGI! I'm outta here."

K-Dog:

I guess your nights must be very long with neither wonder nor delight.

K-Dog, I know!!! What the hell is Wong talking about??? And also, I have to admit that the Zombies in 28 days later are much scarier than those slow Zombies who spend hours trying to make a step! (And Kudos on that little boys raping joke, that was a good one)

And Wong, I am starting to think that you actually BELIEVE in Zombies, I think this conversation is much too deep for you and has consequently driven you to insanity! Maybe I have triggered something in your mind or maybe you actually ARE a Zombie, either way: may God have mercy on your soul.

PS: Zombies suck (not litterally, however they do bite)

Edward,

I hope you and K-Dog realized these are films, and whatever zombies are or are not, they're scripted that way. Not a difficult concept.

And, "that little boys raping joke, that was a good one."

I see why you can't get a date Saturday nites.

Hahaha, hold up hold up!

Before this silly conversation turns into a volley of insults and sarcastic remarks, let me just clarify that my post was in no way intended to be malicious or angry in any way. Wong's post actually had me laughing because it seemed extremely random and I honestly had no idea what he was saying. I wasn't looking to offend you with my remarks wong, they were simply meant to make people laugh.

So before you go about starting World War 3 just keep in mind my comments were all in jest. Don't take it personally.

...but then again, if you would like to have an insult-fest I'd be more than happy to join you!

And by the way, you make it sound as if it should be totally obvious that you were referring to other zombie movies and that it's "not a difficult concept". Well how am I supposed to pick up on these references if the only zombie movies I've ever seen are the afore mentioned 28 Days Later and Dawn of the Dead (remake)? There's a fine line between stupidity and ignorance. I'm sorry we can't all have your extensive knowledge of horror films.

Laugh a little bit. It's good for you.

Oh and almost forgot...



Someone give me my poll rights.



K-Dog

This message has been edited. Last edited by: K-Dog,

Sure, let's attempt to be cool...

Actually, zombies have a tradition that isn't just films. In Haitian voodoo practices, it refers to someone recently death dis-interred by voodoo priests and re-animated to bother friends and family. Their malevolence stems from the fact that they're familiar but evil. Dad or little sister comes back in creepy ways.

Jacques Tourneur's I Walked With a Zombie (1943) is in this tradition, placing the story in context in the West Indies, and achieving with lighting and atmosphere a remarkably elegant film that is both haunting and mysterious.

The "modern" zombie sensibility (if you can call it that) came from George Romero's Night of the Living Dead, when hell ran out of room, and we get all these dead bodies in varying state of decomposition shuffling about with nerve disorder. As they say, it became a cult classic, but it's charm was the cheap budget and campy cheesiness.

Even Romero got tired of the basic conceit after the first film, because the follow-up Dawn of the Dead was not so much horror as a fairly sophisticated piece of satire (on Reagan era consumerist culture). It transcrends the genre because at some point you're asked to feel sympathy for all the fellas wandering haplessly up and down mall aisles while being sprayed with semi-automatic fire and granades, after all, it is still Dad and little sister, maybe Mom too.

The re-make returned the premise back to horror, as standard genre as you can imagine, now pumped up by SFX. Sorta boring.

Yeah, I do feel random when I have to think about zombie flixs: couldn't they attempt to be interesting?

28 Days came from the comics, one of DC's Vertigo books. I like it better there - less loud.

Hahaha...wong...where the **** did that history lesson come from? This is why I can't understand what you're saying. You just pull stuff out of your ass for no reason. Just ask yourself what the conversation was about. Did anyone say zombies were strictly a tradition of film? Was anyone talking about Haitian Voodoo? Hahaha, seriously man, what the hell is "wong" with you? I mean, it's really funny and all, but sometimes it's just...extremely strange.

Look, I think everyone on Metacritic already knows you have a very extensive knowledge of film. You don't have to spit out random film facts every chance you get (especially if it has nothing to do with a conversation).

quote:

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written by wong828
Sure, let's attempt to be cool...

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Uh oh, I smell sarcasm...

Putting this unwarranted hostility aside, I agree that the new zombie "flix" are pretty boring. They aren't scary, the action isn't nearly cool enough, and they aren't funny enough either. I hated 28 Days Later. I only liked Dawn of the Dead (remake) because I saw it in a full theater where I could listen to people laugh at the most sickening scenes (it's hilarious when a baby zombie get's it's head blown off isn't it? Well it is when the guy behind you starts having a laughing fit! HAHA!). House of the Dead...Resident Evil...never seen them, and never intend on seeing them. Those movies (including Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, and Double Dragon) should have stayed in the arcades. Damn those video game movies.

And one question: why do you feel random when thinking about zombie movies? Are you serious or is my nose unable to smell the oh so subtle sarcasm?

"Admit it Walter! This has nothing to do with Vietnam!"



Someone give me my poll rights.



K-Dog

K-Dog,

Uh oh, I smell attitude, but never mind…

You’re the dude who said, “the only zombie movies I've ever seen are the afore mentioned 28 Days Later and Dawn of the Dead (remake)? “

You asked, “Well how am I supposed to pick up on these references.”

You mean you’re content to be on the other side of the “fine line between stupidity and ignorance?”

You don’t have to have, as you say my “extensive knowledge,” but knowing a few things wouldn’t hurt, even if it weren’t in a direct conversational arc. Remember, K-Dog, we’re talking about zombies. Isn’t this talking about zombies? Isn’t this a very zombie-like conversation, notable for its inanity and knuckle-headedness?

One question: Do you always think and converse this narrowly: yeah - scared, no - not scared. Isn’t that kinda boring?

So you’ll have to excuse me for these conversational drifts.

And as for the “oh so subtle sarcasm.” What sarcasm?

quote:

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Originally posted by wong828:

Even Romero got tired of the basic conceit after the first film, because the follow-up Dawn of the Dead was not so much horror as a fairly sophisticated piece of satire (on Reagan era consumerist culture).

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wong, I agree with most of what you said, but "Dawn of the Dead" came out in 1979. Otherwise, you two guys are on your own.

mark,

Good to have a cool head here!

Otherwise, we could'a beaten each other to a pulp...

quote:

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Originally posted by wong828:

I see why you can't get a date Saturday nites.

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I'm back everyone, did you all miss me? After all, I am The One who started this out-of-control conversation!

Wong, I just have one thing to say about your above remark: WHAT-EVER ! Talk to the elbow coz you're not worth the extension!!!!

And, by the way, it's not like I'm forming a team with K-Dog to laugh at you! I just thought his joke was funny!!

So, hug me and lets join our spirits...

Edward,

In that case you shouldn't be so thin-skinned.

I just mentioned that if you thought that joke was funny, you aren't likely to get dates Saturday nites.

I mean K-Dog say stuff like that cuz that's his attitude, you know, tuff, outlaw, a bad mu'therf*ck, etc. and so on.

I doubt he's any of these things.

I mean, if he really crack that joke in public, he would stop conversation, yeah, but he would immediately identify himself as a loser. I doubt he would be that stupid. Or if he really have the "attitude" to crack that joke to a really, really tuf mu'therf*cker, he would get the crap beaten out of him. And I doubt he's that stupid either.

So why would you?

All right ... it's time to either go back to talking about scary movies, or be quiet. These boards aren't for flame wars they're for discussions.

Some arguing is okay, but once the topic has been abandoned completely, it's time to stop.

Thanks!

KT,

Good to see an adult once in a while...

One that's been neglected is Kathryn Bigelow's Near Dark.

Terrific rethinking of vampire lore, anchored by an affecting love story, situated in the American southwest.

It works because of strong story and great visual flare. Some effects but not so that it overwhelms the story. Establised Bigelow as an action director even before her Blue Steel.

quote:

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written by wong828
I mean K-Dog say stuff like that cuz that's his attitude, you know, tuff, outlaw, a bad mu'therf*ck, etc. and so on.

I doubt he's any of these things.

---

Hahaha, yeah I'm a pretty tuff mother f**ker aren't I, making jokes and stuff on the internet. Damn that's bad-ass.

quote:

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written by wong828
One question: Do you always think and converse this narrowly: yeah - scared, no - not scared. Isn’t that kinda boring?

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I'm sorry, I'm not very fluent in Gibberish.

There was no need to go about insulting people. Don't you remember me saying that "my post was in no way intended to be malicious or angry in any way"? And that you should "keep in mind my comments were all in jest. Don't take it personally."? These are direct quotes from my earlier post. You should be grateful that KT saved you from making a complete fool of yourself.

And Edward, I'm sorry, but I must ask...

quote:

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written by Edward Nygma
Talk to the elbow coz you're not worth the extension!!!!

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...that you please, never use that one ever again. Don't take it personally, it's for your own good. I mean, it made me laugh...but for all the wrong reasons, if you get my drift.


Now...back to scary movies...


I just want to say that one of the scariest scenes I've ever seen is from the movie Trainspotting. Both scenes that have the dead baby in it made me wet myself. Dead baby's in general are one of the most frightening things in the world. Ugh, I don't even want to think about it.

Oh and that scene in The Crying Game is also really f**king scary/disturbing. I screamed like a six year old girl.



Someone give me my poll rights.



K-Dog

Along with Interview With The Vampire, Near Dark is definitely the best vampire flick ever, and it is also at times quite scary.

I have to say that Cannibals freak me out, more than Zombies or Vampires. I guess that's why Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original) is so scary for me and Hannibal Lecter is a terrifying piece of wacko !

Do Cannibals freak you out more than dead babies?


K-Dog

I'll say that cannibals are more frightening than dead babies. Dead babies happen every day, cannibals, not so much. My girlfriend used to work at the morgue in our Children's hospital, so maybe that's why it's not so frightening to me. Being captured by some tribe of cannibals in the bush would be pretty freaky, although a lone cannibal is only as scary as any other lone psychopath.

Did you guys ever hear of a film callede Cannibal Holocaust? My dad went to see it when he was younger and he told me it was the most disgusting film he ever saw!

I think it was banned in some countries actually!