What are your favourite monologues/soliloquies/extended bit of dialogue?

Some good ones:

Marlon Brando to his dead wife in Last Tango In Paris
Marlon Brando as Kurtz in Apocalypse Now
Jack Nicholson to his dying father in Five Easy Pieces
Jason Robards lying on his deathbed in Magnolia

Robert Shaw talking about the U.S.S Indianapolis in Jaws

Alan Arkin teaching his kid about sex and the Old Testament (two different scenes) in Joshua Then and Now

Strother Martin's ("What we've got here...") monologue in "Cool Hand Luke".

Maybe not on the same level as the classics mentioned above, but Dr. Evil's bit at the father/son group therapy session is truly truly amazing.

quote:

Originally posted by mark f:
Robert Shaw talking about the U.S.S Indianapolis in Jaws

This was the first one I thought of!
"Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. Was comin' back from the island of Tinian Leyte. Just delievered the bomb, the Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about half an hour. Tiger, thirteen footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know was our bomb mission had been so secret no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us as overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. Kinda like old squares in a battle, like you see in the calendars, like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' & hollarin' and sometimes, that shark, he go away... sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. You know, a thing about a shark he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah, then you hear the terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' & the hollarin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces... You know, by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks there, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin' Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up and down, in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon on the fifth day, Mr. Hooper a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was the most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. Three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb."-Quint, "Jaws" (1977)

The way he gets choked up while giving the date... GOOD GRAVY! GIVE THIS GUY AN OSCAR!

I also LOVE the bit Sam Jack gives at the end of "Unbreakable" [*SPOILERS*]
"Do you know what the scariest thing is? To not know your place in this world, to not know why you're here. That's... That's just an awful feeling. I almost gave up hope. There were so many times I questioned myself. But I found you. So many sacrifices... just to find you. Now that we know who you are... I know who I am. I'm not a mistake. It all makes sense. In a comic, you know how you can tell who the arch-villain's going to be? He's the exact opposite of the hero, and most times they're friends, like you and me. I should've known way back when. You know why, David? Because of the kids. They called me Mr. Glass."

Too freakin' awesome! Dag-nab-it all! I soooooooo wanna see the end of this frikkin' trilogy!

And none can deliver a better monologue than Smith! Even the critics who made fun of "The Matrix" movies during their commentaries loved whenever he was onscreen!
"The Matrix"
"I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammel on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment. But you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease. A cancer of this planet. You are a plague. And we are the cure."

"The Matrix: Reloaded"
"Our connection. I don't fully understand how it happened. Perhaps some part of you imprinted onto me... something overwritten or copied. It is, at this point, irrelevant. What matters is that whatever happened, happened for a reason. I killed you Mr. Anderson. I watched you die. With a certain satisfaction, I might add. And then something happened, something that I knew was impossible but it happened anyway. You destroyed me, Mr. Anderson. Afterward, I knew the rules, I understood what I was supposed to do... but I didn't. I couldn't. I was compelled to stay... compelled to disobey. And now, here I stand because of you, Mr. Anderson. Because of you, I'm no longer an agent of this system. Becaus of you, I've changed. I'm unplugged. A new man, so to speak. Like you, apparently free. But as you well know, appearances can be deceiving... which brings me back to the reason why we're here. We're not here because we're free. We're here because we're not free. There's no escaping reason, no denying purpose. Because as we both know, without purpose we would not exist. It is purpose that created us. Purpose that connects us. Purpose that pulls us. That guides us. That drives us. It is purpose that defines. Purpose that binds us. We are here because of you, Mr. Anderson. We're here to take from you what you tried to take from us: Purpose."

"The Matrix: Revolutions"
"Why, Mr. Anderson? Why, why, why? Why do you do it? Why? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom or truth? Perhaps peace? Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existance that is without meaning or purpose! And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself... although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson. You must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep fighting. Why, Mr. Anderson, why? Why do you persist?"

I actually know all of these by heart. (I must admit, I double checked my wording, but I didn't have to make very many changes at all!) I can't help but say each line along with the actor because I just love how they're delivered!

I just remembered this classic one!

"Sir, before you chastise these two officers, I think there's something you should know. The only reason that they were at a strip bar is because they were tailing me, and I had went to this place. These two officers were sitting outside, wondering what I was doing. I was in having a good time. I'm into things like that. Anyway, these guys waited outside, and the only reason they came in was because they saw two suspicious-looking gentlemen with bulges in their jackets going into the place. Well, it turns out that these guys were gonna commit a robbery, sir. These men watched them, waited for them to make their move and then they foiled the crime. I did not know what was going on. I was watchin' the show, havin' fun. I'm still freaked out by it. They must have a sixth sense. I don't know what you teach these fellas, but they're not just regular cops. Okay? They're super cops. And the only thing missing on these guys are capes."-Det. Axel Foley, "Beverly Hills Cop"

I got one. In The Libertine with Johnny Depp, and there are his character's very first lines:

Rochester: "Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on. Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the time. That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact. I put it round you know. And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it. Don't. It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats. Gentlemen. Do not despair, I am up for that as well. And the same warning applies. Still your cheesy erections till I have had my say. But later when you shag - and later you will shag, I shall expect it of you and I will know if you have let me down - I wish you to shag with my homuncular image rattling in your gonads. Feel how it was for me, how it is for me and ponder. 'Was that shudder the same shudder he sensed? Did he know something more profound? Or is there some wall of wretchedness that we all batter with our heads at that shining, livelong moment. That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope. I am John Wilmot, Second Earl of Rochester and I do not want you to like me."

Read it, and when you rent/buy the movie, you won't be disappointed.

I purchased the DVD, the Libertine, for many reasons, but the opening and closing monologues are as good as it gets. The opening you cite powerfully caputures the hedonism of the age; the closing just as potently reveals where it led. As a clergyman I couldn't resist the parallel as the writer of Proverbs promises if we value wisom life will be full; then, in Ecclesiastes (a book claimed by many to have been by the same author as Proverbs) it reads, "All is vain, eat drink and be merry." In both cases our temptation to see and interpret life as black and white, reward and punishment, ease and pain is challenged. The previous demand by the monarchy to live puritanically eventually led to suppression and the stifling of creativity. Thus, when the the chains were unlocked it did not lead to a restored liberation; instead it lead to its own form of bondage. Both monologues capture this sweeping historical movement in merely a few words; but the words and their delivery are mesmerizing. The viewer leaves the film haunted by Depp's question: "Do you like me now?"

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Rev. Rikard,

quote:

Originally posted by Rev. Rikard:
Both monologues capture this sweeping historical movement in merely a few words; but the words and their delivery are mesmerizing.

That is what I love about this movie. It's the portrayal of the huge shift between governments and the effects on English society, as seen through the eyes of a man who was there in the thick of it.

I don't know if the opening lines of Inside Man would be considered a monologue, but it is another one I like:

Dalton Russell: "My name is Dalton Russell. Pay strict attention to what I say because I choose my words carefully and I never repeat myself. I've told you my name: that's the Who. The Where could most readily be described as a prison cell. But there's a vast difference between being stuck in a tiny cell and being in prison. The What is easy: recently I planned and set in motion events to execute the perfect bank robbery. That's also the When. As for the Why: beyond the obvious financial motivation, it's exceedingly simple... because I can. Which leaves us only with the How; and therein, as the Bard would tell us, lies the rub."

About the this one and Depp's monologue, I love them both mostly for the delivery.

I must mention this one because it hasn't been and because it's immortal. I know that everyone has seen it coming but someone has to be first:
(and I contribute this as a proud Scottish-Canadian)
" Aye, fight and you may die. Run and at least, you'll live...at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade ALL the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they may never take OUR FREEDOM!!!"
Alba Gu Bra! Alba Gu Bra! Alba Gu Bra!"